Don't be fooled by lists. Fairies are always the favorites.
|Vanity Fair 3/12|
|Entertainment Weekly 2011|
When you’re a baby, it’s not good because you don’t have any hair.
You sing songs, but you don’t know the words. Or the tune. (I know the words and the tune AND THE DANCE.)
People have to carry you EVERYWHERE. (This is you being carried EVERYWHERE.)
Here’s What Else You Can’t Do [list culminating with “Actually anything really fun”]
Here’s What Else You Are Scared Of [list culminating with “Actually lots of not-scary things at all”]
And a special plug goes in your mouth. It’s called a pacifier and it’s to stop your scream coming out.
And when you go in the car, you have to sit in a baby-holder with a handle on it. You don’t even face the right way. (I prefer to sit in a seat like a normal person.)
Here’s What Else You Do That’s Illegal [list whose title alone is hilarious and spot-on]